Expectations

April 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm Leave a comment

Matt says I expect way too much from people and that is why I am always disappointed. I think I do expect a lot and want a lot from the people in my life. From my friends and family and also from the doctors we go to see. I want people to support me and listen to me and also for the doctors to respect me and the boys. I know it’s just not that easy and I am often disappointed. I often feel like I was such a different person before the boys were diagnosed with ARPKD. I was always a worrier and did always expect a lot from people but I was also more laid back and calmer. I worried less. I know I am a good advocate for the boys but I hate that I worry like I do and that I am not as carefree as I once was. I don’t think I laugh as much as I used to and I get upset a lot easier. And I expect a lot more from people. Probably way too much and I am often disappointed. It’s hard for me to figure out a way to go back to the way I was before. Our life is so different now. Things were a lot easier before. It’s sad to me that the boys will not have a carefree easy life. It’s sad that they will always have their health to think about. Even though they are “milder” at this point they will have daily medications most likely for the rest of their lives. And endless doctor’s appointments and the constant thought of their kidneys and how their lifestyle affects them.

So…yes I do expect a lot from people. But honestly I think at this point it’s okay for me to have these expectations if those are the kind of people I need in my life supporting me.

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