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November 5, 2010 at 2:59 pm Leave a comment

There was an article in a local paper recently about someone I grew up with. The article was boasting about this woman whose husband is a musician and how she is “super” mom in a way. Her husband travels a lot and she has two boys and she works as well. It talked about how active she is with her children and with their activities and how she volunteers for a lot of things. In all honesty I remember her being a really nice person and I’m sure she still is. The thing that bothered me is that she has two healthy boys who as far as I know have no issues. I’m not sure I’m expressing my feelings here but something about the article really bugged me. I feel like I would be a better mom if I didn’t have all of these things to worry about in my life. I would be able to devote more time to my boys, their after school stuff, the PTA, the temple, etc. I feel like I would be a better wife as well. A lot of the time now I feel like I’m drowning or just keeping my head above water. Usually it’s just my nose that stays above water, not even my whole head. Max now has asthma and takes a new medication at night. So he takes one and a half white pills twice a day, one blue pill every other day in the morning, and a red pill at night. Gabe takes one whole white pill in the morning and a half of that white pill at night, a half of a brown pill two times a day, and a purple pill in the morning. And this isn’t even close to the amount of medications that most of my friends’ kids with ARPKD take. So I actually have nothing to complain about. But Gabe has been peeing even more than before and doesn’t even stay dry most days at school and especially not at night. Max has been complaining more of his chest feeling tight and wanting to do the inhaler. Gabe’s tummy seems to be bothering him more and he is tired a lot of the time. And to top it all off Nate is having some big behavioral stuff going on and I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing with him to make it better for him. I’m lucky if they’ve all eaten all of their meals, taken all of their meds, and have clean clothes, not to mention I cannot remember the last time I took their blood pressure. Then there is the general upkeep of my house, work, paperwork for work, cooking, etc……… I feel like the stress will never end. And I pulled my back out this week. So really this is just a complaining sort of post with a lot of feeling sorry for myself on top!

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