September 17, 2009 at 4:08 pm 1 comment

I think I’ve posted before that I started having panic attacks a couple of years ago. I also tend to have bad dreams or wake up with a panic attack. A recurring dream/nightmare I have is that a heavy object or the house is falling on me and I will die if it does. It is very scary and I often wake up screaming with my heart racing.  Sometimes I’m in like a half dream/ half awake state. I think whatever is in my dream is in fact real but I am somewhat awake and can talk and move. That happened last night. I woke up screaming thinking the house was about the fall in and crush me and I had to get out. Matt said I was flailing about and trying to get out of bed. He was so good though (he’s used to it by now) and he held me arms and calmly told me to wake up. I finally did wake up and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would pop out of my chest. I hate when I have these dreams/nightmares/panic attacks in the middle of the night. They are so draining and scare me. I talked about it today in therapy and we discussed how my old therapist said something big has fallen on me and this is one way my subconscious is dealing it. My therapist today said she thinks it’s also that I feel trapped in this situation with the boys and feel so out of control. She said it also goes back to my childhood and feeling out of control and not having a say in anything. Interesting thoughts. Now if I can just work around these things so these darn panic attacks stop happening!


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

kidney transplant happy

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Julia  |  September 18, 2009 at 12:29 am

    Yeah, so do you get to work through that in therapy and then they will subside/disappear?

    Thinking of you. Wishing you uninterrupted sleep, always.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

September 2009
« Aug   Oct »

%d bloggers like this: