Anxious

June 24, 2008 at 11:16 pm Leave a comment

I try so hard to control my emotions. I used to be so laid back. But now I find myself holding it all in so I don’t yell at the boys. I am so anxious with them and get so frustrated.  Sometimes they are the sweetest things and sometimes they get under my skin so badly I want to scream. Why is that? Is this just typical boy stuff or is it more than that? For the most part they have really good behavior but other times it’s like they never listen to me at all. You would think that after being away for 5 days I would be as calm as ever with them but that is just not the case.  

Matt took them up to my parents over the weekend and my mom cannot stop raving about how wonderful Matt is with them. What a great dad he is and how impressed she was that he packed them all up by himself and brought them up there. Now the week before that when Matt was in Germany for 5 days what did she think I was doing around here… sitting on my butt while the boys did everything. Who does she think cooks, cleans, does the grocery shopping, gets them ready for school, gets them ready for bed, plans all of the meals, pays the bills…. not to mention works part time out of the house. I guess that’s somebody else. I never hear how great it is that I do all those things, but the minute Matt does one he is so wonderful.  And when I am out of town his parents are so anxious to call and come over to help out but when he is gone it just doesn’t happen. ( I actually do think Matt is a great dad and does work hard at work during the day and then comes home and plays with the kids. That is not what I am complaining about here.)

I guess this turned into a bitch session. But I am frustrated by my frustrations.  I just took this 8 week parenting class but think I need it every week to stay successful with it.  I just want my boys to grow up and think I was a good mom to them and want to emulate me with their own families.

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