June 16, 2008 at 2:20 am Leave a comment

Is it always a definite thing that eventually you turn in to your mother?  The older my mom gets the more she is turning in to her mom. And I worry about me. Matt often says I have certain mannerisms that my mom has. Don’t get me wrong… I love my mom and am very close to her, but am just very different from her and the thought of turning into her often scares me.  We went to the grocery store together and I almost lost it. It was raining and her shoes got wet on the way in. For most of the hour in the store she talked about how she only brought one pair or shoes with her (down from the Berkshires) and would they ever dry. Then whenever I would pick out anything she would say “Are you sure you want that”. Like the napkins. I picked out napkins with a little design. She said “are you sure you want those”. I said yes (obviously since I had picked them out and put them in the basket). Then she said “don’t you want the plain ones?”. I then said I didn’t care. Then she said “well, what do you think?”. Oh, my!! In my life what the napkins look like really don’t matter. I walked down the aisle, quickly looked at the napkins, and grabbed a bag that looked nice, but really who cares!!!!  The thing is my mom is pretty surface and those are the things she worries about. For me I have so many other things to worry about I try not to also spend too much time thinking about things like what kind of napkins to buy. Now, am I being petty at this point that I am writing a whole post on this??? Who knows.  

I think the main thing I am frustrated at is the lack of empathy from my parents and in laws and really most of my family and friends as to the boys’ situation.  Really their lack of empathy to me. No one really ever asks how Matt or I are doing. On occasion I will get a question on the boys’ status but other than that not much more.  So then when my mom is spending way too much time on picking out napkins I really wish she were spending more time talking to me about my life and the boys’ health. But, as Lovey (my therapist) says I cannot change my family but I can change my response to them. Hmm…..


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Hanging over my head Anxious

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June 2008
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